What did I need to do to get them sober? Desperate for answers yet finding none. Living with the what if's. Even professionals didn't seem to have the right formula. As the years went on I began to feel hopeless and depressed. I was living with an addicted spouse.
This was not the way I wanted to live and was certainly not the life I wanted for my daughters. What was I modelling to them about healthy relationships. I knew I needed to do something to break the cycle in my family to protect my daughters from marrying an addict.
Most of what I found was focused on the addict- but they weren't the ones looking or willing to change. They were comfortable living with their addiction, while I was becoming more disillusioned and depressed.
I have spent years of my life seeking answers to how to live with an alcoholic spouse
Counsellors gave great advice for a relationship that did not involve addiction but what works for healthy relationships does not work when you add addiction. In fact it often facilitates the cycle to continue. The useful information I was able to receive just touched the surface and left me wanting more. I wanted to go deeper and not just scratch the surface cracking this elusive dilemma.
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As I searched and through trial and error I finally was able to find things that actually helped me. I was able to take that information and develop steps and a formula that for the first time was actually helpful and worked. Then I started searching in bookstores. - why was there nothing on the shelves? My counsellor at the time encouraged me to write and journal my story. At first it was an exercise to help me and my recovery.
If I was searching for so long then there were many others suffering that needed to know how to stop hiding and start living. I do not wish for anyone to continue suffering as they live with a loved one suffering addiction or to take years of their life searching for answers that I have. I know what it's like to feel hopeless, desperate. I offer you alcoholic spouse help and addicted spouse help.
I don't wish that on anyone which is why I needed to share this with you.